read between the runs

i love the eau claire marathon more than most things in life, even when it’s treated me poorly. in my eight years of running it, i have only had one (subjectively) good race. i was injured for a couple, did one virtual and completely couldn’t run for another, and slogged through some cramps in each of the rest. there have been few great temperatured days, usually becoming too hot in the early may sun, and now this last time, too windy and cold.

but damn i love that race.

maybe now it’s the nostalgia of being able to go back to my favorite trails in the world, or reminiscing on the connection to running i was able to craft in that city because of that race. i’m not sure. but i know that i would not be the runner that i am without the eau claire marathon. eau claire inspired me to take my running hobby and cultivate it into a lifestyle and something that i would want to pursue with every ounce of my commitment. (and now being outside of eau claire, i have lost that commitment, so it’s hard not to draw some correlations there)

i remember months of waking up before 5am in my dorm room next to roommates who would be asleep for five more hours so that i could run before my 8am classes. through the darkness, the bitter cold, and the loneliness. oftentimes it was all three at once. but i never doubted my reasons for being there because i knew that eau claire was waiting for me. each of my college years was that way. looking back, i don’t know how i was that devoted. now i can’t fathom how dedicated i was to that ritual and process each year. having such a tangible love is an amazing thing. it made it easy.

i did everything that i could to have each year finally be the year that i had a good race, but each year i always seemed to have done a bit too much. too many miles without my body being ready to scale, going too fast on easy days, over-stretching, becoming too obsessed with healthy foods for my own good. and i wonder why i never did well. (ironically, the two times when i thought i was just doing it for fun were actually my two best races. there must be something to that)

side note: don’t even get me started on the blugold mile! what a feeling to turn onto campus and be hit with a wave of students cheering you on even though they have no idea who you are. thousands of them, just there, screaming. what an amazing feeling– feeling as if they are cheering for your individual success in a crowd of another couple thousand. in running, there’s nothing better.

these days, on mornings when it’s already 7am and i don’t want to run, maybe i need to start thinking about the feelings that eau claire gives me. i think that then it would be a lot harder to stay in bed, knowing that i’m chasing that eau claire feeling.

i would love nothing more than to be able to go back to eau claire after a full and successful training season to just destroy that course. to be able to show that course what i am fully capable of because it has required me to mine for what i am fully capable of. that’s my running dream. sure, there’s boston, the world majors, and ultras to do as well, but i need to show that marathon what it has allowed me to be, too. a tragedy i would be if that were not able to happen.

but it has never been meant to be. at least, not yet. i’ll pedestal running in my life how it used to be so i can make eau claire proud (i hope). i’ll do it the right way and make sure that i prepare for eau claire that enables me to show eau claire what it helped me to become.

despite all the bad years, i have finished each and every race. plus, i still have all the t-shirts. and in the end, isn’t that what running is really all about?

do great; be happy